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Top Ten Signs You Spend Too Much Time on Facebook

10. You have crossed eyes and a chapped ass

9. You're hit with 130 million restraining orders

8. You post pictures on Facebook of you posting pictures on Facebook

7. Your relationship status: Pathetic

6. You can count your friends on 15,286 fingers

5. No number five -- writer checking ex-girlfriend's status on Facebook

4. When mom calls to ask how you're feeling, you check your status to find out

3. You just found out on Facebook that your wife is divorcing you

2. You think the U.S. should "defriend" Iran

1. Constantly poking yourself

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